Mario Kart DS: or How to Ruin a Game
"I really want to slap someone at Nintendo for MK:DS"

I've been playing Mario Kart since the dawn of time... well since it first came out on the Snes, which is almost the same thing. I was really looking forward to MK:DS so I could play with friends without having to have the bastards actually in my living room and drinking my rum.

Unfortunately Nintendo made some giant goof-ups in Mario Kart DS... and now I'm going to bitch about them all.

On top of the fundamental Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection issues (WEP security only, no passphrase support, different friend codes for each game, having to set up wireless settings for each game etc), multiplayer fairness is pretty much out the window in MK:DS

Two major problems especially noticeable in 1 on 1 racing:

1. The Cheeseball strategy. The way Mario Kart passes out items can suck, but especially in the DS version. if you are in first you will get the lowest tier items, people in every other spot will get much better items. This allows for the Cheeseball strategy. Basically, stay in 2nd at all times, collecting uber-items then at the last minute use them to pull ahead and win the race. The cheeseball strategy when used, will work 9 times out of 10 in a 1 on 1 race.

They could have remedied this by having items delivered depending on the distance from the winning kart and total number of racers. ie if there is a massive distance THEN uber powerups like the blue shell or shrinking ray will drop, not if you are simply not in first. Also, if you are in a standard kart over an uber-kart (see below) you should get given some item bonus.

Someone basically neck and neck with the lead car should get the same items as the lead car.. being a fraction behind the lead car but getting much better items is just asking for cheese-ball play.

2. MK:DS allows players with all the unlocked characters and karts to race using them against those with the stock players/karts.

While the home console versions of course, allow everyone to use the same karts/players and thus is fair to all, the WFC game favors those who play the 1 player to death and unlock all the karts. Those who haven't unlocked everything (ie me) may as well not bother playing.

Case in point, I had a friend match with someone, I have stock karts because I intended on only playing MK:DS for multiplayer and don't care about the 1player at all. Race starts, uber kart takes off, no chance in hell of winning. Wow nice system there Nintendo! Hey next time I want to have sand kicked in my eyes I'll go down to the beach like everyone else.

Sure, I could spend hours and hours playing the 1 player by myself to unlock everything, but seeing as I find certain genres to be crap in 1 player (wrestling games, fighters, racers etc) I would rather just quit playing.

Maybe I need to play the game with more than 1 or 2 others at a time, maybe the game suddenly becomes fair in 4 player races, but my experience with MK:DS so far has been balls.

And game developers, if you make a multiplayer game, do not force people to have to play the crappy 1 player modes to unlock multiplayer content. Playing through the butt-cheese 1 player in the WWE games to get multiplayer content was like being repeatedly kicked in the head and balls.